Archive for August, 2009
My little men, Jamie and Louis, had their second birthday (birthdays) on Sunday. As usual there was a family gathering, luckily it was a sunny day so the mayhem could all occur in the garden. The boys were inundated with gifts, mostly two of everything, but the main thing was that they enjoyed their day. Nanny was feeling very lively, possibly helped by a couple of glasses of weak Pimms, so refreshing, and so threw herself enthusiastically into entertaining the Grandchildren. Amy nearly succeeded in causing me serious injury by hurling herself, unexpectedly, at me whilst I was kneeling. I had no idea that I was still able to remain kneeling whilst my head was on the ground behind me. I did think that I must have caused major damage to my spine, DIL was sitting next to me and said that the clonking sound which emanated from me indicated serious injury but no, minor ache but nothing more.
Evie, who is just coming up to 10 months old, is walking unaided, and has been for over a week. Today she increased her speed and was virtually running, very handy when the boys are around and she has just taken their toys, and hilarious to watch as she has to extend her arms to keep her balance and looks decidely inebriated.
Jack, 5, has learned to ride his bike without stabilisers and has resurrected the obsession he had as a toddler with staging mock crashes by tipping the bike over and rolling off it, scary to witness but keeps him occupied for ages.
Amy starts school, full-time next week, bless her, she is only 4 and 4 months. I think she will cope well though as she is quite a bright little spark and has a brain and imagination which a re hugely entertaining.
Izzy is still a little dot, looks like an angel but has a voice like a fog-horn and a will which is indomitable. She still had hypermobility of her joints and is capable of sitting comfortably with her legs bent at impossible angles. I think she is assisted in these poses by a markedly increased pain threshold, she rarely appears to feel it.
Amy, Izzy and Evie
Working Friday, on-call, and Saturday but then I have 2 weeks leave. Yeah. I can’t wait, I am so looking forward to having some time off. I have a mandatory study day next Friday but that is nothing in comparison to the stress of a days work.
Delayed shock, or delayed realisation, I don’t know but there is certainly something going on in my brain. It is hitting me now, great chunks of empty spaces and knowing that Ref is really dead. Stupid really, I mean I spent days watching him lose his grasp on life, stood with him once he had died and then went to his funeral, I knew that he was dead, or I thought that I did. It must only have been on the surface though as it is only now that I am fully aware of the finality. I suppose that some of this must have to do with the ‘out of the blue’, freaky nature of the circumstances which caused his death. Is working helping? I would love to just be able to wallow and mentally sort everything out, but would that help, is it better that I don’t have that much time to ponder upon stuff? It’s 6 of one and half a dozen of the other really. If I had time off then stress-wise, supporting my Mum and helping my sister out, it would really ease the situation, I wouldn’t be on such a guilt-trip about not being around but it could also increase stress as my Mother is not an easy person to be around at the best of times! Mum is actually getting worse, it is driving her mad, and fuelling her anger, living opposite the driver who was the cause of her husband’s death. Apparently the man has just had a brand new car delivered, his car is still in police custody, and my Mother is taking this as a personal insult from the driver himself and also the world at large. It must be so difficult for her, a constant, constant reminder and replay.
This week the solicitors came to talk about the case etc., I wanted to be there but work got in the way, I wanted to know if she could claim expenses for moving home, she is never, ever going to be able to start to arrive at any form of calmness and acceptance whilst she lives on that road, in that house, opposite that man, she needs to move (or he does) but why should she have to finance a move which is only necessary because of the accident? Does that sound money-grabbing? Am I turning into an ‘ambulance chaser’? Are these normal thoughts? Perhaps I’m going as mad as my Mother.
Hmmm, working is definitely a good idea, it doesn’t allow time for me to analyse and fret about everything.
“I’m speaking now. When I’ve finished you can speak”.
This was an excellent example of what NOT to say to a customer and was demonstrated by an employee of an extremely well known Personal Computer store. Yes, he said it to me. The company and I are presently in the middle of an interesting debate regarding consumer rights. The next communication should be from them, soon.
A quick precis. The G.P told me that I was being referred. 3 weeks later I received a letter from the G.P’s giving me ‘secret’ passwords which would allow me to book my appointment on-line. After a couple of weeks of receiving the same message telling me that were no appointments available I phoned the appointment people who knew which hospital I had been referred to, but not which consultant. They told me they would now organise my appointment. So much for ‘Choose and Book’, I have neither chosen or booked. A couple of weeks ago I had a letter from the appointments people reminding me to book. I wasn’t sure what to do but basically I was so wrapped up in my step-fathers demise that I forgot about it.
A the beginning of last week I received a letter from the hospital my G.P had chosen for me. Huge excitement, was this my appointment? No, it was this:-
Thank you for choosing ………………..NHS Trust
W have received your appointment request from the Choose and Book appointments line. We are sorry that there were no appointments available when you tried to book and we will be in touch with you as soon as possible.
Please rest assured we are dealing with your request. There is no need to contact us further unless the points below are applicable:
- You have booked your appointment at another hospital
- You no longer require an appointment
- You have not heard from us within two weeks to arrange an appointment
In the meantime please disregard any reminder letters from the Choose and Book Appointments Line.
Oh well, at least it answers my question about the other reminder letter. The letter was dated 06.08 so I should hear from them arranging an appointment by the end of the week. I am feeling rather guilty about the trees which have been felled to provide the paper required to give me an appointment.
Vacant midwife positions also rose, from 2.1 to 3.4 per cent. Of those, 1 per cent were long-term vacancies, up from 0.8 per cent. The Royal College of Midwives (RCM) has previously warned that England already needs an extra 5,000 midwives to provide an acceptable level of care.
Cathy Warwick, general secretary of the RCM, said: “The fact that midwifery vacancies have increased is a worry, especially as birth rates are rising significantly, and showing no sign of slowing down.”
She added: “The overall increase in vacancy rates may suggest there are more midwifery jobs available but employers are struggling to fill them.
“It could also mean that more midwives are leaving a service suffering from very heavy workloads.”
It really says something about the state of midwifery when even a recession cannot either improve retention or encourage midwives to return to the profession.
I talk to my colleagues and not one of them is happy with how things are at the moment. The main gripes are too many changes; unrealistic expectations by both managers and media; lack of support and the deluge of paperwork. The joy of the job is entirely eclipsed by the stressors and since enthusiasm and a positive outlook are integral to midwifery this is can only be viewed as hugely worrying.
This ridiculously tortuous system is continuing to confuse and confound me. Having failed dismally in my attempts to choose and book on-line I finally gave-up and spoke to a human being (see my previous post), I thought that I had sorted everything out, now I’m not so sure. Yesterday I received a letter from ‘The Appointments Line’, yet another off-shoot of the NHS, telling me that ‘our records show you may not have booked an appointment for your referral yet’ and telling me to ‘do so as soon as possible’. My referral wasn’t to see a psychiatrist but I’m beginning to think that seeing a shrink may be the culmination of attempting to negotiate this bureaucratic maze. Perhaps the difficulty in booking an appointment is inbuilt deliberately so as to make patients give up trying and then reducing the waiting lists.
Now, what do I do? Phone them again or wait and see?