I have just had two wonderful days. After a week and a half of working, travelling, supporting and massive sadness I have spent two days back to my ordinary grandmotherly duties of caring for the boys, and it has been so refreshing, they don’t know what has happened. They are not treating me with kid-gloves, discussing the ins and outs of everything, hating the driver, feeling sorry for the driver, planning cremations and memorials, so Nanny has just behaved as Nanny always does, full of life and laughter.
The segway ended at 6.30pm and now I’m back in the twilight zone. The coroner has communicated his findings, cause of death – bronchial pneumonia following massive head injury. The inquest will be opened and adjourned on Tuesday, the coroner hopes to be able to release ‘the body’ after this so then we can schedule the funeral. We have not heard, yet, what the driver will be charged with, if it is ‘causing death’, then his solicitor has the right to demand a second post-mortum and then the coroner cannot release ‘the body’ until the PM has been repeated. What about the rights of the bereaved? This is just prolonging everything, there are too many ‘what ifs’, I don’t like ‘what ifs’ and, where the funeral of her husband is concerned, my Mother dislikes them even more.
My step-father came from a rural background, he had lived all his life in the village on which he had published a history, he was also a mover on the local council so there is to be a memorial service at some point after the funeral, thankfully the movers and groovers, plus the WI, are organising this but our input has been requested. My mother was spouting all these flowery verses, not Ref’s style at all, so I started surfing and found this poem, it is all I want to say in a nutshell –
God saw you getting tired
and a cure was not to be
so he put his arms around you
“Come to Me”
With tearful eyes we watched you
and saw you pass away
and although we love you dearly
we could not make you stay.
A Golden heart stopped beating
hard working hands at rest.
God broke our hearts to prove to us