Archive for January 22nd, 2009

Black cloud evening

Thursday evenings are always a low time for me, my energy levels are at rock bottom having had the boys for 2 days. Tonight has been more down than usual, the boys have been great today, energetic but happy whereas yesterday Jamie was the most wingey toddler imaginable and I find that really, really tiring. The boys tussled constantly, Jamie wanted everything that Louis was playing with and when he couldn’t have it he would cry,  hit his brother and then start attention seeking by playing with the dishwasher controls or banging drawers. I’m not looking forward to work tomorrow, clinic in the morning and I’m being shadowed by a new midwife who is orientating to the community.  I also have an extremely difficult woman on my caseload at the moment who is, by her behaviour, causing me major headaches and generating huge amounts of paperwork, numerous phone calls and time consuming meetings trying to liaise with all the different agencies involved.

I’m sitting here writing this experiencing a succession of tropical moments and sweating like the proverbial pig, I’m not sure if this is a cause or effect of my low mood but it sure ain’t helping me to generate a positive one. Of course the constant torrent of reporting about the recession isn’t exactly a mood enhancer, I worry about our future but I worry even more about what the next couple of years, or more, will hold for our children. The weather is depressing, my engine management light is glowing away again, I’ve got an ingrowing toenail and I’m feeling really, really sorry for myself!

I shall add that to the ever growing list of manifestations of the menopause, self-pity.


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