My life is passing in a positive blur at the moment. I’m hoping (fingers crossed) that I am starting to get into the swing of my new twin caring responsibilities and keep up with everything else as well. I was never a particularly organised, routine sort of Mum but I have to admit that this appears to be the key to minimising some of the stress associated with two, energetic, crawling bundles of fun. Of course this doesn’t stop them excavating the coal skuttle, knawing on the contents and then padding it over my pale oatmeal, coloured carpet. They have succeeded in breaking the ‘kiddy-proof’ safety locks on the cabinets, they have discovered how to turn-on the music centre but on the plus side they are helping me in my quest to lose weight. They are still reluctant to let Nanny leave the room, and just to really tug at the heartstrings Louis has learned how to say ‘Nan’. Jamie is so close to taking his first steps but is reluctant to do it yet, perhaps he is waiting for his brother to join him in the upright world. Although they are both starting say the odd everyday word I’m sure they have already got their own private little language. On Wednesday Louis headed off down the hall and then stopped and babbled at Jamie, who giggled, and then at exactly the same time they both headed on toward the stairs, where the stairgate had been left open. Sure they were planning an expedition into forbidden stairworld.
Job-share has been on holiday for the last two weeks so work has been more demanding, especially as one of our women has been playing hide and seek with everyone who has an interest in her, and her baby’s health. There are social problems, her existing insulin, dependent diabetic status, drug abuse, and her heavy smoking confounding the issue, right from the start of her pregnancy we knew that there ‘may be trouble ahead’, and we were right. She has always been a diabetic who does nothing to control her condition, to the extent that she has, at aged 19, already got badly damaged kidneys. The specialist diabetic nurse at the surgery had warned us that K was a persistant non-attender and very poorly controlled but we were sure that her pregnancy would cause her to take better care of herself, how terribly wrong we were. Immediately she was failing to attend consultant appointments at antenatal clinic, we were phoning her, arranging new appointments, involving her G.P, going round to her home, she was always very pleasant, apologetic, and full of assurances that she would go next time. Eventually it was working out that everyone was going to her, except the consultant and the sonographer. Guidelines were quoted and job-share was ‘ordered’ to refer to Social Services, it was at this point that K admitted to her drug habit, no idea why, does she want this baby I wonder? Finally she attended for a scan, the baby is very small, currently at 34 weeks esimated at two and a half pounds so she has been admitted to hospital for daily monitoring, will she stay, will baby be alright, will it be allowed to stay with her? Should it be allowed to stay with her?
Then today I received this comment –
Well, what can I say? I left midwifery after 18 years and feel nothing but relief. Yes it was a long and protracted decision, about 8 years! My husband, and finally my children, were so fed up of me going on about the stress, conditions, safety and shifts they said ‘Well do something about it’. Unfortunately you can’t change anything as managers don’t want to hear it. You are told to prioritise between a woman bleeding and a woman pushing while they sit in their office! Years ago as a nurse I remember the Nursing Officer rolling her sleeves up and helping when we were short or busy, but that doesn’t happen now. We were told we should be reading our emails daily but how can you do that when you come on duty to a full ward who are all in labour or want to go home asap? I will miss the women and my hardworking colleagues, but not the nights and days in the same week, missed breaks, staff shortages, being rang at home to come in,lack of training opportunities (as the budget was halved)etc etc.
What do I think? I believe that this midwife is voicing the feeling of the majority and I am sooo jealous that she has been able to step away from the situation.
Just to really end the week on a downer, my giant sunflower been snapped off at the base.