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Archive for April 9th, 2008

Expectations

The Old Woman who Lived in a Shoe

I started this blogging stuff back in February 2004 when youngest daughter was expecting her first baby, my first Grandchild. I wanted to keep a diary, organise my thoughts and record this transition from being a part of one generation into a member of another. I had looked forward to becoming a Grandparent but I was amazed by quite how much this forthcoming event was altering my perspectives. My children had all flown the nest, were independent. That had given Hubby and I a freedom that we had never really experienced, the ‘apron strings’ which had held us to the children for so long had stretched to such an extent that they were virtually non-existent. Did I suffer ’empty nest’ syndrome? No. We still saw them all frequently, we all lived locally so someone was always popping round but our time was our own. The advent of a new generation reined me back again. The pregnant one was calling round more frequently wanting support and reassurance and I realised that it would not just be their lives changing, ours would as well. Jack was born and I was overjoyed that the closeness daughter and I had regenerated was continuing, and that I was going to be a ‘hands on Nanny’. It is now 4 years later, I am now a Nanny 5 times over and, although at times spread fairly thinly’, I am still hugely involved with my Grandchildren, when daughter returns to work in August I will be caring for the boys, I am privileged. Yes, my relationship with my daughters has changed, we are now closer than before, we are a support network, I hate saying this as I always used to cringe when I read it but, we are friends as well as being mother and daughter, it’s complex.

Now for the point of my musings, I am going to be a Grandmother again! On Mother’s Day son and daughter-in-law came round and gave us a suggestion for a wedding present, a pushchair! Yes, they are getting married in May, whoops. I was overjoyed, squealed, cuddled both of them and generally made a huge fuss. Yesterday they had the 12 week scan, I was expecting a phone call but no they came straight round to show us the scan photos, my next grandchild, a little smudge nestling in it’s home. A the moment I feel as close to this developing baby as I did to all the others, will this continue as I expect my involvement to be very different. This is my daughter in-law, I shouldn’t think that I will be physically involved during the pregnancy, I doubt that I will be there when baby is born. I was in the room when all my other Grandchildren came into the world, will it make me feel differently when I don’t hear it’s first cry? It is all just so different, I’m frightened that this little one won’t feel as much a part of my mega-family. I think this is going to be a whole new experience in my Grandmotherly role.   

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