Jack, Izzy, Jamie, Louis, Amy
Today was eldest daughter’s birthday so there was the usual family meal, complete with the Grandchildren. I took the opportunity of the mass gathering to have a photo taken with all of them, just in case. Yes, I’m a pessimist who is anxious in case something goes wrong on Friday, so would like to know that there is a photo in existence that shows Nanny with the grandchildren. I know, I know, it’s only a minor op. and 90% of me is certain that all will be fine but there is just a teeny, tiny 10% that reminds me of the unexpected hiccups that occur even in routine procedures. I’ll laugh about these ridiculous jitters on Saturday, I’ll probably feel quite embarrassed I have revealed them here but it does feel good to bring them out in the open. You see I don’t let the family know what a little worry wart I am, I like them to believe that I am invincible, a safe port in stormy seas, a rock but sometimes even a rock needs somewhere to release her stresses, and this is that place. I’m not worried, for me, that I might die, after all if I’m dead I won’t know anything about it. However, I am concerned that I may a) be left compromised viz a vie quality of life or b) in a PVS. Drama queen, perhaps, but I’m being honest here, declaring my angst and this is how I feel under the confident exterior I show the world.
Right, back to normal service. The Conservatives are proposing introducing the provision of maternity nurses, emulating the Dutch system. What do I think? Immediate response, wonderful. Then I think ‘ that’s going to cost a huge amount. Where’s the money coming from?’ This has got to involve cutbacks somewhere within the public services, hopefully not the health service, or education, or police, where then? Next comes the thought that, although this is important to me, there are as, if not more urgent calls on the public purse just within the Health Service. What about the Care of the Elderly? I know from our experience with my Mother-in-law, who suffered from Alzheimer’s, how scanty and difficult it is to obtain help with care. How do you decide which is more deserving, a family with a new baby, or a family with an elderly, infirm relative who requires round the clock care? Here I am going to be hugely brave and get off the fence, I believe that any spare monies that exist should be channeled toward the elderly requiring care appropriate to their needs. I can’t express really why I believe this, when I try to dissect my thoughts the argument is easily destroyed. People should be prepared to have a baby, as you get older you should anticipate dementia and take out an insurance. Relatives should help and support family when there is a new baby, ditto for an elderly relative. Ahh, supposing the old person does not have relatives? Well, the insurance policy should come into it’s own then. See. I cannot logically defend my viewpoint, this is a real gut reaction. It’s all down to emotions. New baby, wonderful, a joy. A new life who will respond to you, will grow, may try your patience sometimes but will ultimately make it worth all the hardwork. Senile relative? Hard work with little reward, unless you take comfort from the fact that ‘Auntie’ hasn’t developed bed-sores, been found wandering the streets or fallen out of bed recently. A baby starts off needing to be fed all their food, but eventually they learn to feed themselves and then they will even prepare their own, and others, meals. ‘Auntie’ will start off feeding herself, it’s dangerous to let her loose in the kitchen though, gas, electric, water so many possibilities for her to have an accident. It’s not long though until she needs help, and this is assumes that this fully grown adult is not agressive due to her illness and therefore likely to be more intractable than a toddler ever knew how to be. Natural functions, smallish amounts in babies, easily controllable, not quite such a party ice-breaker when it’s an adult you’re talking about, ‘ Oh yes. Hugo is such a new man, he changes all Auntie’s incontinence pants, even when there has been an explosion and it’s gone all up her back!’ As I said, emotions. Been there. Done both. Know which was easier. Know which one I couldn’t have done without a huge, continuous amount of around the clock help and it wasn’t child-rearing.