This is less an entry and more an attempt to put work-life into perspective. It would easier to hide my head in the sand, bury myself deeper and deeper, and I
have been trying that tactic, but avoidance is not my natural behaviour and just results in tremendous unease. I could continue to deceive myself and make believe that all is well, after all I have managed to keep my council on the RCOG calling for more women to be cared for in MLU’s; the ‘riots’, some other interested party wanting more obstetrically, trained physicians and the BBC’s Panorama programme about the midwife shortage, but a silly little incident has spurred me out of my silence.
Why am I in such a slough of despondancy? Well, the miasma of NHS bureaucracy has finally overwhelmed me, I am entirely embroiled in the totally mad maze of
management which consticts every aspect of being employed in the health
service, and it is frustrating me beyond belief. I am terrified that I could
well give into panic if I don’t get a grip on all the ends which are snaking
around at will, needing to be organised, needing to all join up. The maze is
constantly causing me to bang up against seemingly inpenetrable, prickly hedges
so I backtrack and try another route, wasting more time and energy, only to
meet another vicissitude.
I don’t want to be a manager in the NHS, I can’t imagine why anyone would want
to, it’s a thankless task. Yes. There are too many managers but it’s all do
with the way the NHS has developed, it strikes me that everything is kneejerk
rather than planned by individuals who understand how the whole organisation
functions. Nothing is radically re-organised, rather, another side-shoot is
grafted on to the already overburdoned branches. The new little side-shoot is
given it’s task and it happily thrives, initially. It receives adequate
nourishment and produces acceptable fruit. After a while the environment
changes, the nourishment is rationed slightly but demand for it’s product
increases. Initially the side-shoot responds by exploiting it’s reserves but
they are limited and soon it displays signs of weakness. What to do? Look for
stronger branches to share the workload, perhaps form a framework, no, just
graft on another shoot to further drain the whole organisation.
Don’t expect any of this to make much any sense, it makes no sense to me so why
should any innocent, who has never really experienced the NHS,
understand this rambling. Many have tales of their encounters with the NHS,
those at the receiving end, patients, or clients as we now have to call them,
let me assure you working for the NHS is no bed of roses either.
Anyway, where was I? I don’t want to be a manager, but I do really, not for ever, or
even a month, just a day would probably allow me time to formulate a structure
which would enable me to work logically and efficiently. Mind you, the Trust
Board would need to be disempowered during my frantic reorganisation, because I
wouldn’t have the time to wait for them to rubber stamp my decisions, and I would
need to be able to command co-operation from other drones but, given those
criteria, I would be flying.
I’m just going around in circles. My new job is an absolute, organisational
nightmare, I keep taking 2 steps forward and one step back. I have 2 different
managers who act as if they function within 2 different organisations, although
we all work within the maternity sector they carry seperate budgets, which they
guard ferociously this impacts adversely due to others not appreciating that I
cannot cross theoretical boundaries. I can’t go into detail so it possibly
sounds as if I’m making a mountain out of a molehill, maybe I am but that molehill is wrong-footing me constantly.
As if the actual working maze is not frustrating enough there is also the minor
fact that 3 weeks after I started my new role, supposedly on a contract, my new
manager confessed to me that she hadn’t gone through the right process so I
have been working on ‘bank’ since I started. I’m just wondering if this is a
double-edged sword as it does mean that I could walk into my new managers
office and tell her to stuff the job. The trouble is that if I can create logical working pathways the role is one that I would love.
P.S I’m still having real problems posting anything other than the title and category. Wrote this last night but it has taken me hours, literally to post it and it’s still a mess. I give up!
OMG, big hugs, cup of tea and a piece of cake.
I do understand! My husband works for the NHS, enough said. He’s not a manager but has ‘adopted’ a role to help out as he was sick of things not being right. To be fair his line managers have been great and covertly set up this role for him! He even heard that there was a problem with a cupboard in the dept and took his tool kit over and fixed it as he knew it just needed a spanner. His boss nearly fell over!
I also have similar problems with bosses. I work for a company, but they are employed by another company to manage a building. I work closely with the second company and they directly ask me to do things. The company who employ me get cross because I do what the second company ask me to do. But given that the second company pay my wages to the company that employ me I dont actually think my employers have any room to bloody complain! In fact there has been discussions about getting a new company in …… and I’ll be TUPEd over to the new company. Talk about caught between the devil nad the deep blue!