Aches « A Midwife’s Muse

Aches

October 2, 2008 at 11:08 pm | In Family, Ulcerative colitis | 4 Comments
Tags: Ulcerative colitis

I love my children. I know that they are adults but they are still my babies. I have no idea if I will ever feel differently, I wish I could because sometimes I ache too much because of something that has hurt them, and it pains more because I am powerless. I sat there tonight next to son’s hospital bed and could feel my eyes burning, the lump in my throat getting bigger and bigger and all I could do was to pour him a glass of orange juice. Pathetic. I’m his Mother, I should be able to stop this. I don’t want to be listening to alarms on monitors or watching fluids drip into his horribly skeletal wrists, nodding wisely as he shows me the diagrams the surgeon has drawn which explain about ileostomy.

It all seems rather unfair. He and DIL should be totally absorbed in their imminent journey into parenthood.

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So sorry it has come to this. Hope he can be out and at home at least before the baby arrives.

Comment by mumof4 — October 3, 2008 #

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So sorry about this. It is surely the worst point in his life having to go through this. It won’t be an easy time for sure, particularly not the next few months. But it will get better. And once he’s better and has adjusted to the changes the operation brings with it, he’ll be able to enjoy his baby so much more. Hopefully it will strengthen all your family bonds as well.

My cousin had this operation as well and it did wonders, even if it took time for him to recover. he went from being so ill that there was serious concern for his life to being a very healthy young man, a successful doctor and he now fully enjoys a very normal life. It is a long and hard road, sometimes difficult to keep focused on the outcome, but it will hopefully all be well in the end. All of this doesn’t ease your pain and it won’t bring back those first months meant to be all about enjoying a new baby, but there’ll be years of parenting ahead of him that will more than make up for those first months.

Comment by cartside — October 3, 2008 #

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mumof4 – Things are looking so much more positive this afternoon.

Comment by midwifemuse — October 3, 2008 #

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Cartside – Up and down, but soaring skyward at the moment. Your comment was lovely, so realistic but reassuring as well. Thank you.

Comment by midwifemuse — October 3, 2008 #

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